so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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