Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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