Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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