Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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