Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
