Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Randomize
