mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
