I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
