No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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