I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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