Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
