a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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