Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
