found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
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I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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