You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
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We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
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The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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