What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
