just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
They are going to name an STD after you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
