lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
