God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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