I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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