it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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