turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
