You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
