She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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