im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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