Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
