Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
