I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
