You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
