your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
