Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I enjoy the company of your penis
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
