brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
