Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
