and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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