I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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