No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
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his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
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This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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