Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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