Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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