This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
