We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
