I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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