OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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