Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
