Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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