The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
