Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
