I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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