Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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