I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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