I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
