I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
