Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
