I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
