Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
we made out on top of his cat.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I cut my penus on the lid.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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