goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize