She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
