that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
