Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
