What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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