Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize