redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he high fived his dick after we had sex
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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